In a world where we are always looking for a way to quickly fix or resolve our “issues” or ailments, I want to emphasize the importance of rest and being.
I am here to talk about just how important rest has been for me the last 5 years. I reflect on it now as I mentally prepare for postpartum. There have been two major healing journeys on my path thus far. The behind the scenes of my Yoga is a practice of devotion and surrender. This has allowed me to be present in what was necessary for me to feel fully & drop in to what I had to experience
Here is a timeline of some of the major healing journeys I have purposely embarked on, and the ones that I had no choice but to embrace:
2017:
I decided it was time to truly heal my body from autoimmune disease, chronic fatigue and adrenal exhaustion. I embarked on a 3-6 month physical and energetic cleanse with the guidance of one of my healers, Stephanie. During this time of simple eating and detoxification I did not exercise. I only moved enough to prepare to teach Yoga. During my free time I rested or slept. I went on walks occasionally - slow and gentle. My body was healing, deeply. I was unwrapping layers physically, mentally, and emotionally. I felt very raw and sensitive. Therefore, I honored this time with true rest, and because of that I still reap the benefits 4 years later.
2019:
Traumatic loss and grief. Loosing my brother I immediately knew what was necessary. I was going to have to allow the deep pain and darkness to sit close to me. It was the only way I would ever be able to transform my grief and awaken with a renewed perspective on life, death, love, & relationship- with my brother in another plane, with myself, with my partner, in my work, and with anyone who I come close to. The emotional pain was more exhausting then a full body detox. My grief wanted me to sleep as much as possible. Everyone’s is different. When I was awake, I was tormented. I didn’t distract myself from the pain, I surrendered to it. It was the hardest months of my life. I am so grateful to all the gentle whispers of those around me encouraging me to rest. I believe it is the only reason that I have been able to move forward (not moved on, because I don’t believe we have to move on from deep loss). I believe what we can do is learn to carry it.
2021:
Giving birth and becoming a mother... To be continued. I write this as I am 9 months pregnant with my first baby. I cannot speak on this journey just yet. I intend to continue to practice Surrender & Devotion. I plan to do nothing but care for my baby and myself for the first 40 days and perhaps longer if necessary. I don’t expect to “bounce back” until my body gets tells me it’s ready. This listening was years in the making and it is never too late to start to listen to your body .