Cultivating the opposite attitude ~ Pratipaksha Bhavana

The other day I came across a quote that said, "Instead of worrying about the worst case scenario, what if you dreamed up the best case scenario?"
My first thought was OH yes, Pratipaksha bhavana!

Pratipaksha bhavana is a yogic practice outlined in the Yoga Sutras in which yogis discontinue negative ways of thinking through the discipline of “cultivating the opposite.” From Sanskrit, pratipaksha means “opposite” and bhavana means “cultivation.”

I just BEAM when I see parallels between modern well-being culture and ancient yogic teachings. It is my humble opinion that the practice of Yoga offers something with more depth and richness. 

The practice of Pratipaksha Bhavana is a fundamental piece of my approach to yoga in relationship with our mental health.
For a long time I thought of cultivating the opposite thought in a very surface level way. When we are in an anxious, fearful or depressed loop simply think an opposite, more positive thought. However, it is much more nuanced than this.

What Pratipaksha truly asks of us is that we first dive into the limiting belief or thought. It asks that we fully allow these "shadow parts" to be felt and seen. We explore the images, the body sensations, and the true fears of that thought or belief - fully & completely. 

Yes, this might be scary. This is where the physical and breath centered practice of yoga can smooths the edges allowing for us to go to these parts of our psyche with grace and shall I say, bravery.

Once the limiting thought is fully explored, it is then we allow the mind to move across the continuum and dream up a completely new scenario. Even if it feels far fetched and unbelievable. It is a practice that we get better at over time. 

The final piece of Pratipaksha Bhavana is to then discover the neutral, or middle path. What is in the middle of the worry and the big dream? How does that feel in our body? From here we can begin to make real changes in the way our mind works, thus reducing our suffering.
 

Our minds are plastic and pliable and can be stretched just the way our bodies can.

I hope that this blog has invited you to contemplate this ancient practice in a very doable way. It is my wish that these emails help you right where you are, right now. No need to roll out a mat! You just need your thoughts and maybe even a journal and pen if that is your jam!

Fortify your inner world to cope with your Outer. A post on the importance of honoring the little "griefs" of our lives.

You may have noticed...

Grief work is my passion. I do not experience Grief as always sad or always dark. It is my passion because when we engage in the task of grief, it is life-giving. 

When we can endure the emotions, memories, and sensations that arrive in grief, we can become more engaged in life.

It is my passion because I have seen first hand and have experienced it myself, that when we can go to the darkness of our grief, we become refreshed and renewed and primed for what is truly meant for us.

From there we can then experience Joy and Presence in a way that may not have been available before.

I am not just talking about the tremendous pain of loosing someone we love. I am also talking about the many ways we might miss the opportunity to grieve in daily life:
The completion of a T.V show, a new job (even if it is welcomed!), a friend moving away, etc.

I can give a personal example.

Right now, I am in my third trimester and preparing to welcome a new baby into our lives. This is of course a very exciting and special time that I am so blessed to be able to experience...

When a sense of melancholy arrives, I am able to explore and feel this sadness without the guilt or the need to bypass and only be in the Joy of this experience. 

I have been able to recognize the grief that comes with growing, birthing, and raising another beautiful being. 

I know how that sounds...

So hear me out...

I have become aware of the anticipatory grief that comes with no longer having most of time and attention focused on my first baby.
I have become aware of the grief that comes with my body changing again, with loosing mobility and yoga practices I love, the grief that comes with new medical needs and integrating them into my daily life.
I have become aware of the grief that comes with how ripped open my heart will become again with the Love of another being.

In my experience, this incredibly beautiful and terrifying kind of attachment is life changing and personality altering. 

So much of me will shed again to welcome this new life. There is so much grief and beauty in that. I am sure there is something in your life that contains this duality.

Here is the thing, whether or not I chose to acknowledge the mini griefs that I am carrying, they will be there.
So by allowing myself to feel, cry, talk, journal about them - they begin to move through me and their grasp loosens.
I feel lighter and more free. I feel ready to engage in this season of my life even more by bringing to light what needed to be seen and felt. 

To engage in the task of grieving we need to feel safe. I hope you can give yourself grace and compassion if feeling your grief is a task you are not yet up for. It can be scary and sometimes we need help. A practice that gives stability and security to our inner world is key.

It is my life's work to guide this process in others. It is my biggest privilege to witness others naturally come to a place where they access their feelings for the capital G grief in their life and all the little griefs. It is such a blessing to then witness them make space for what is true and real for them.

Francis Weller says it well:

"For us to tolerate the rigors of engaging the images, emotions, memories, and dreams that arise in times of grief, we need to fortif your inner ground. This is done through developing a practice that we sustain over time. Any form will do - writing, drawing, meditation, prayer, yoga, dance, or something else."

Grief is act of devotion, rooted in love and compassion.

I am sending you big love and compassion as you navigate your big and small griefs - 

Amy

Mudita ~ Vicarious Joy

As March approaches,

I feel a sense of hope in the air. Perhaps this has to do with the fact that spring enters this month!
It has been about a year since the original lock-downs due to COVID-19 & I have some reflections I would like to share ...
March is often associated with the color green. This is due to St. Patricks Day, of course. The color green is also the color of the heart chakra. The heart chakra is the 3rd energy center located at the physical heart. Spiritually this is our center of connection. Connection to our highest Self, each-other, the Universe/God/Higher power (however it resonates with you), and with all beings on this earth and beyond.
One thing this pandemic has really taught us is how connected we all truly are. We have been asked to think not only of ourselves and our loved ones, but of ALL. We have been challenged to expand our hearts and open up to the unknown.

This week in class I have been sharing the Sanskrit word "Mudita". Mudita can be translated as vicarious Joy. It is empathetic joyfulness for another. One of my teachers offered up this practice of Mudita:"Be so happy for another, it is as if it is happening for your own self." This practice is not only meant for our immediate loved ones, but for all. The practice of Mudita is to practice genuine joy for another's peace and well-being - even a stranger.
I especially like to consider Mudita when I find myself in a comparison mindset. If I find myself comparing my own skills/success/experience to other Yoga Teachers or Yoga Therapists, I remind myself of Mudita and I feel relief. I can embody Joy for them and their successes. It has taught me that in this way, everyone "wins." The joy and love is sent to the other and it comes back to me. Comparison or envy is released.

I invite you to contemplate Mudita. Catch yourself when you are judging and comparing to another and share in vicarious Joy instead. The more we do this, the more it will come back to us. We are all connected this way.

Supporting anxiety and depression through yoga therapy: How one client practices

Blog published by YogaTherapy.Health

Dec 17, 2020 

By Amy Gaster

Jessica* is navigating life in her 20s, including the changes that can come in this sometimes-tumultuous decade. She is sweet and speaks softly; her calming, grounded demeanor diverges widely from the way she explains her inner experience. Jessica’s goals for seeking yoga therapy are to support her ever-changing experiences of anxiety and depression. She also hopes to feel more connected to her body and her inner self.

Every client is a distinct individual, but a few snapshots of how I worked with Jessica illustrate the path of adjunctive care through yoga therapy and some of the ways in which the practices support the experiences of anxiety and depression.

Foundations for insight

Jessica can clearly describe where in her body she feels anxiety—in the chest and belly, neck, and face (especially the eyebrows)—and the way she experiences depression—as a general heaviness in her body. She also reports feeling disconnected from her physical body overall. She shares that her biggest life challenges right now are recovering from traumatic experiences, unemployment, and navigating medical leave from school. Jessica attends silent retreats, which she finds challenging but also life-changing. I notice that she often closes her eyes, even while talking.

One of the tools of yoga therapy is educating the client. Every individual is unique: Some yearn to know the how and why of what yoga can do to help them; others just want to know that they can feel better.

Yoga therapists do their best to assess who is sitting in front of them and to meet those individuals where they are. We are trained to assess people through yogic methods including the panchamaya kosha model. The panchamaya system views the person as an interconnected whole, from all layers (koshas) of being. From such perspectives—and with client involvement—a yoga therapist chooses not only the practices that may best suit the client, but also the ways in which the practices are presented. Depending on the client, for example, I might occasionally share information like the below, or we may sit and have a longer conversation about how yoga can support mental well-being.

How yoga supports anxiety and depression

Anxiety and depression are not foreign invaders of our systems—they are necessary survival skills we all have. Anxiety is an (over)abundance of the behavioral skill of projecting and analyzing the future to save us from potentially harmful situations, or simply to plan ahead. Depression is an excess of the behavioral skill that allows us to reflect on the past, learn from our mistakes or from things that went well, and carry forward lessons. Much more could be said here, of course. (Some of the yoga research in these areas is linked under “Mental health” here.) The point is that yogic philosophy views these “conditions” not as something to get rid of, but rather as experiences that may require balancing.

Yoga supports nervous system regulation. (Learn one way this might work here.) The practices of conscious breathing, relaxation, and physical poses have different qualities that can be stimulating or calming as needed. When someone is feeling anxious, we might reach for yogic tools that ground and soothe the nervous system. When someone is feeling depressed, we might reach for yogic tools that are uplifting and stimulating.

Yoga therapists seek to support people where they are currently, then offer a yogic intervention to help them find balance. For example; if someone is feeling anxious and jittery, we may help them to move through that energy physically or with the breath, discharging any excess. When they feel a bit more settled, then we can offer grounding breathing practices, relaxation, and poses that require stillness.

If someone is feeling depressed and lethargic, we can invite them to begin slowly, perhaps on their backs with gentle breathing and movements—again, meeting them where they are. Then, once we have brought in more energy, we can offer more stimulating and uplifting practices.

Yoga therapy invites us to practice svadhyaya (self-study) to observe how states like anxiety and depression can shift and show up on any given day. From there, the practice can vary depending on what mood is most predominant.

Meeting energy where it is: Jessica’s practices     

One session, Jessica let me know she was feeling very lethargic and down and so had decided to have a cup of coffee. That led to her feeling stressed, overwhelmed, jittery, and anxious by the time she saw me. Other times, she has come in feeling physically lethargic and mentally anxious and fearful.

Slow, flowing movements with even breathing may be especially helpful when someone is feeling more anxious and needs a gentle way of dealing with that energy. When I notice Jessica’s movements and breath becoming more even and fluid, I invite her to start holding postures for three to five breaths. If Jessica is feeling more depressed on a given day, I might offer a restorative backbend to bring subtle uplifting energy. In either case, we use props like bolsters and blankets to prevent physical strain and shift the focus to calming the mind.

Over time, the system learns to be with a spectrum of experience in a calm way, and clients learn tools they can apply to support balance in themselves.

Silent meditation can feel overwhelming for those with racing thoughts or who tend to engage in negative self-talk. Many yoga therapists avoid silent meditation for those coping with anxiety and depression. Guided meditations that include mudra (hand gestures) or mantra (sound) may be useful to give the mind something to “chew on.”

In Jessica’s case, we began practices with guided visualization, mudras, or guided breath awareness. A practice such as breath of joy with the sound LAM is a staple in Jessica’s yoga therapy plan. This active breathing exercise is meant to uplift and energize.**

Bhramari (bee breath) with shanmukti mudra (using the fingertips to gently close the ears, eyes, nose and mouth) is a harmonizing breathing practice Jessica really enjoyed. I offered sama vritti, or even breathing, when she was feeling depressed to support balanced energy. When Jessica felt more anxious we practiced breathing with a longer exhalation.

Tratak meditation (focusing on a single point) on a candle flame was a practice I chose to invite Jessica to engage with her surroundings with open eyes. Jessica was surprised at how helpful this type of meditation was for her, as she was accustomed to practicing silent meditation with her eyes closed. She reported that tratak helped her to feel focused and centered. Because Jessica already practiced silent meditation, I often ended our sessions with a few moments of silence together to provide familiarity.

Moving forward 

Jessica explains that yoga therapy has helped her get to know herself more, connect with her body and mind, and identify practices and activities that support her in creating more even moods. She looks forward to continuing to attend silent meditation retreats with the new knowledge and tools of breathwork, mantra, and movements to prepare for stillness. She also reports that even if she does struggle with silent meditation, she now knows that there is nothing wrong—she may just be out of balance!

Amy Gaster, RYT-500, C-IAYT, practices yoga therapy in New Haven County, Ct., and from anywhere online via Zoom. Amy supports individuals and small groups in the experience of chronic pain, mental and emotional well-being, and back pain. Find her on Instagram and Facebook.

*Name has been changed to protect the client’s privacy.

**If you have uncontrolled high blood pressure or any kind of head or eye condition, such as migraines or glaucoma, it’s best to skip this practice. If you start to feel light-headed, stop for a minute, breathe normally, and find something in front of you to look at. As with many breathing practices and other yogic tools, working with the guidance of a well-trained teacher is recommended.

This post originally appeared on yogatherapy.health, published by the International Association of Yoga Therapists. Used with permission.

The Yogic Kosha Model and Mental Health

The Pancha Maya Kosha Model

This is the framework we follow in Yoga Therapy to support individuals in their physical, mental or spiritual well-being. We are multi-dimensional beings made up of many different, yet interactive levels.

My intention is to introduce this model so that one may get an idea of what to expect in Yoga Therapy AND to educate others in the many ways we can approach our well-being. Perhaps you have tried talk-therapy and it was not enough for you (disclaimer: I believe in and personally benefit from talk therapy). The Kosha model reminds us that we are more than our mental and physical bodies. It teaches that there are other layers to who we are, and therefore other ways to “enter” our healing path.

The Pancha Maya Kosha Model: Pancha means five - 5 layers. Maya is illusion or that which separates. Kosha can be translated as sheath or layers.

1) Anna Maya Kosha- The Physical body. Anna means food. This is our “food sheath”. The part of us nourished by what we eat and consume physically. Our physical body is our most familiar aspect of our being. This is the body we can touch and feel. The body we feed, move, sleep, rest, exercise, and do Yoga asanas (postures). Many people report feeling better after exercise. Even a short walk can provide a mood boost and soothe anxiety. Physical Yoga classes often leave people feeling more grounded and uplifted. “In a large US sample, physical exercise was significantly and meaningfully associated with self-reported mental health burden” This is one way “in”

2) Prana Maya Kosha- The Energy body. Prana translates as energy or life-force. It is the energy that flows through and creates life in all of our systems. Breath is the most physical manifestation of Prana. Breath contains Prana and is the most accessible way for an individual to influence their Prana. Prana can get stuck and stagnant and create lethargy or depression. It can also get scattered or uncontained and create feelings of anxiety. Breath awareness and breathing practices, called pranayama, increase and facilitate the flow of prana in the body and balance the flow of the life force to all the physical systems. I always like to say, if one can breath one can do Yoga. Creating even breaths in and out supports depressive feelings. Lengthening the exhalation calms the nervous system and supports anxiety. Here is an article about breath and mental health by BetterHelp (an online resource for finding a therapist). This is another way “in”

3) Mana Maya Kosha- The Mental-Emotional body. Manas means mind, and the Manamayakosha is the layer of our being expressed as mind, emotions, and feelings. These are our thoughts and emotions. The way we interpret our thoughts and emotions and those of others. This layer is responsible for processing input through our 5 senses of the physical body. It often takes on a bigger role then it may have been intended by creation. Many benefit from processing emotions and mental patterning through Talk Therapy. Some resources: https://www.betterhelp.com & https://www.psychologytoday.com/us This is a way “in”.

4) Vijnana Maya Kosha- The Wisdom body. Vijnana means knowing, and this sheath represents the higher mind, intuitive wisdom, a sense of knowingness. Believe it or not- we ALL have this layer. Here we approach the subtle body. This is the wisdom that lies behind the processing, thinking, and reactive mind above. Think of our mental/emotional body like a shout, and the wisdom body like a whisper. When we are in touch here we are able to trust our higher wisdom, see the bigger picture of our lives and the world around us, & access higher levels of integrating our lives & living in our truth. Practicing meditation, Yoga Nidra, and Journaling are some ways to nourish this layer. I love the free app “Insight Timer” for guided meditations and relaxations. This is a way “in”

5) Ananda Maya Kosha- The Bliss body. This is the fifth and final sheath of our being. Ananda means bliss, - an expanded, unbounded experience of reality. Bliss in the yogic sense, is not the way we typically describe it in our modern language. The experience of bliss is steady without high-highs or low- lows. It is an everlasting contentment - the experience of the soul itself. Again, we ALL have this layer. It is the core of our being beneath the other 4. So it makes sense that it can be hard to sense or access. You may have experienced this feeling of deep contentment before - even if it was fleeting. One can access this “layer” through any of the 4 above.

Here is where I would like to explain what I mean when I say “in” . I am speaking of the Bliss body. The deepest part of ourselves that comes with us when we leave our physical bodies. When we are in touch with this part of ourselves; knowingly or unknowingly, we feel the ultimate connection to source. I believe, this is what we are seeking all along.

These sheathes are not separate or linear. They integrate with each other. For example, it is not unusual to feel connected to your higher wisdom body during exercise, or perhaps talk therapy. The purpose of the intellectual understanding of our different layers is to understand that there are many ways to find support for our unique needs.

My hope is that this has helped you acknowledge the multi-dimensional human you are & learn ways to advocate and take care of you.

I am here to be a guide on that journey.

~ Amy

Free Loving Kindness Meditation For Challenging Times

Hi dear ones,

I am writing this in the midst of the COVID-19 pandemic crisis that is currently happening on a global level.

 Wherever you are right now, whether it be stuck inside, going to work, navigating being out and about, because you have to - I am sending you peace.

The past two weeks have felt like months as we all adjust daily to the current crisis due to COVID-19. I will admit, the first few days I found myself stuck in "self-centered" mindset, worried about my business, worried about my loved ones who are immune-comprised, etc. 

This week, it felt like each day brought a new awareness to the huge impact this is having on so so so many beings. Thinking of those who are already battling an illness and have to go to hospital and doctors, their loved ones who can't accompany them. Funerals that must go on despite lack of attendees and the healing touch that is SO needed during those times. Families who are about to welcome a new baby. Families who cannot feed themselves or their children. Homeless people who are lacking resources more then ever, small businesses - I can go on and on. Please feel free to share with me your own personal struggles. (just reply back to this email) <3

The more I open my heart to all who are impacted, the more gratitude I feel for all that I have. 
 

Opening our hearts can be a painful process. Worrying about others and the world can feel like a heavy burden. It is suffering that truly binds us. Through opening our hearts, we can feel connected to others, connected to the essence of existing.
During this time I find comfort in meditations such as Karuna meditation, also known as Loving Kindness meditation. Karuna means compassion in sanskrit. This meditation helps us to send loving kindness and compassion to ourselves and others, as we all need it right now. 

I would like to offer you a free recorded Loving Kindness meditation that you can do wherever you may be right now: 

Karuna - Loving Kindness meditation

2020. Time to stop thinking there is not enough to go around. A vent and remedy?

Do you know what a skeptic is?

It is someone who throughly looks at all sides, openly takes in information, and makes a decision based on that. It is not someone who blindly follows societal views, never questioning, never open to something different or "uncomfortable".

So before you call yourself a skeptic the next time someone brings something to your attention that you do not believe in and you shut down -- Think twice, you are not a skeptic, you are currently close-minded.

I have been hearing in the circles I surround myself, and on the podcasts I listen to ;-), that 2020 begins a time of increased evolution, growth, moving towards unity, and learning to understand ourselves (seek therapy, healing, etc). I pray it is so.

It is time we vibrate higher.

I am SO tired. I am filled with grief with the state of things.

I am SO tired of watching my family and friends seek out medical help and are failed, who think that the answers only lie outside of themselves and are hurt by modern medicines when there are an abundance of other options. I was there too. I felt hopeless and broken. No more.

I am so tired of watching them think there is nothing else and therefore literally dying adhering to the system that was manufactured, packaged, and sold to us last century. Perhaps even worse -watching them give up. I am sad for the ones who want to seek help holistically and simple cant afford it, or aren’t sure if it is worth the investment because of the incessant belittling and fear-producing content coming from the western medical community.

(Disclaimer: i acknowledge modern medicine and its place, the amazing people who follow that path, and its great advances and healing powers) However. It is not and has never been enough.

I am SO tired of a world where we are fooled thinking there is not enough to go around -->

A modern medical system who will NOT acknowledge natural medicine (not in a way that really matters yet anyway). SO sick and tired of insurance companies who think there is not enough to go around so they hyper-focus on pharma, thinking only it will fill their pockets, the only thing they care about. It is the biggest lie and it is devastating to watch. My soul hurts.

So tired of us killing our earth, "fighting it" when it cries for help, because at that point - we have no choice. All she wants is us to feed and honor her and she will show us how she can and will feed us, heal us, tenfold.

SO tired of a world where we think there is not enough land to go around.

We will destroy our planet and destroy ourselves. Is this our fate?

When we finally leave this realm and look back on this beautiful earth, many will be in deep grief that we were so, so so, OFF, if they are not already.

A healer and friend taught me something that has helped me so much when this intense grief and sadness comes up around these topics.

The Control model. There is the things I can control, and the things I cannot.

Simple.

I can control how I react, how I treat others, what I do for a living. I can control how I care for the environment, myself, and my loved ones. I can seek my own healing so I show up purposefully in this world. I can control my vote. I can control how I vote with my dollars. I can grow my own food, buy local. I can control the information I share, praying it somehow makes a difference, even if it is for someone else to feel heard and understood.

& I can be angry and sad over the things I cannot control. I can feel them and ask God or higher power to help guide me to my purpose here, listen more, treat our earth kindly, and always do my best.

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Grief Pondering's

Yoga Sutra Contemplation: Through sincere and consistent effort the practice of Yoga provides: 

“Identification of oneself as living within the infinite stream of life” Sutra 11.47

This is my deepest hearts desire at this time
~

Summers bright and warming sun is turning into cool fall evenings, a transition we go through every year. This year, in my current experience, this transition is a bit more heavy and complicated. 

June 8 2019 I married an amazing man, we went on our honeymoon & just 10 short days later, I lost my little brother suddenly on June 18th 2019. My wedding and the beautiful memories I have of him and our family will always be the last moments I had with Justin.

It was almost 4 months ago. So this fall has been very transitional for many reasons. I struggle with the change because I realize he was here for summer, but he is not coming with us in the fall.

The first 2 months of my mourning I spent sleeping and weeping and isolating. My grief manifested as extreme exhaustion. Most of the time I did not want to hear about healing and for a bit there I thought it best if I never do. I help others heal and inner growth is not only a career, is it the way I live my life. So this was out of character. I knew enough to hold space for myself as grief settled into my bones.

I felt that this dark gaping hole was my new home and I liked it that way. All the while, another part of me knew that I will climb out of this with more awareness and growth then ever. I am still shedding and growing, always. One thing is certain, the path is not linear. There are just as many set backs are their are growth spurts.
My brother is apart of me, and my heart is utterly shattered. I am learning how to continue to have a relationship with him & the divine, wherever he is now. 

What I am experiencing now that I am crawling out of the debilitating period of my grief - is a new found lense for life. One I thought I already had. However, it turns out I haven’t scratched the surface. This lense allows me to see the bigger picture and soak up the little moments where I used to be inpatient, waiting for what comes next. It invites me to open my eyes, look around, and soak up this earth -a very very temporary home. 
The questions: Why are we here? Why am I here? What is this for? What is my hearts deepest longing? Are all apart of my daily contemplations. 
 I don’t know if I will get the exact answer for these questions but the ask is enough for now.

I have found I am more present and that I choose to make space for only what is meaningful for me. I am finding it is more natural to be vulnerable and speak from the heart. I place a higher priority on soaking up the beautiful pieces and people of my life that God has still left for myself and my family, because if I don’t fully embrace them, why else have I been chosen to remain with the living? What could be more important during our time of living, if Love is simply the only thing that matters in the end?  I choose more then ever to not allow a joyful moment to just pass by as if it isn’t the most important thing there is in this world. Love really is all that matters, it is the glue between this world and where we go after. What if that is our only purpose? To love and be loved. To learn to love oneself and offer our authentic gifts to our little corners of this planet. It can be as simple as baking someone something, adding light into the life of a stranger, helping out a friend, etc. Our authentic gifts do not always present as big passion projects. 

All for now..

Soak it up<3

Amy

Setting Boundaries for emotional health

Setting boundaries is a common topic in the spiritual community these days. It is for good reason. Setting boundaries is an important contribution on the journey to emotional well-being. When we do so we are standing our ground and affirming that we are worthy enough to ask for what we need, and say No to what we do not. 

My top 3 thoughts on Boundary setting: 

Boundaries are so hard to establish. Trust me, I know. Establishing boundaries is much more difficult then it may seem. First, we must get clear on our own personal limitations. We each have our own personal limits in our personal lives, relationships, friendships, and in our professional lives - i.e: deadlines, obligations we place on ourselves or allow others to place upon us. Everyone has there own limit. Our limit or edge is the place where if we push further we loose our peace and don’t show up the way we would like to for ourselves and for the people you love. It can also contribute to a host of other things such as anxiety, panic, depression, insomnia. Learning our limitations occurs through Self-Awareness. In Yoga we refer to this as Witness Consciousness. Practice by simply pausing and noticing through-out the day. How do you feel when you overextend yourself and where is the place right before you do so? You can also journal on it or talk to a friend about there own limitations to get an idea of a place to start.  

Second, we must obtain confidence in the fact that we are enough and worthy of boundaries. We are enough even when we say No, or I prefer this - respectfully. Most people will accept your boundaries with open arms. If they don’t, pretty high chance they have blurred boundary lines as well. We must not let this sabotage our own growth. Practicing Yoga and meditation builds our confidence and helps instill a belief that we are worthy of our space in this world. 

3rd is practice. Practice establishing a clear boundary. Because it simply does get easier with practice. It becomes your new norm. For example: “I would love to stay and talk with you longer, I so enjoy it, but I must get going.” Or: "I would love to take on that additional task at work, but I feel I work best and most affectively with the current workload I have already". Then once you are in a different setting with yourself, check in. How does it feel? Maybe strange at first. Maybe freeing. Once you are grounded in your boundaries, you will know when they are being crossed and you can take action to set them. Your health, emotional wellbeing, and loved ones will all benefit when you create boundaries. It is not selfish. It is an inspiration for others to do the same.

May we all continue to strive for freedom and wellbeing because we deserve nothing less.