Connecting to the Vibration of Love & Trust

Have you ever found yourself attached to the opinions of others, our relationships, our success or failures, as ways of defining who we are and how worthy we are of love and connection? 

We as humans crave connection. It is only natural. When we loose touch with our connection to Spirit/God/Divine/our own Higher Power or however it relates to you - we begin to look outside of ourselves.

My reason for this blog today is that I recently found myself  having high expectations of the relationships in my life. We should expect to be treated a certain way, yes, but at one point we have to ask ourselves, Am I seeking something outside of myself that can be found within? And, how can I reconnect to that inner resource?

My go-to is the practice of Yoga, meditation, and breath-work. However, we can connect to our innate wholeness in a myriad of ways. We can do the Yoga, anywhere. All we need is our person and our senses. 

Each of us has a unique way that we can become in touch with Joy, true Joy. Not the elated highs, but rather a smooth sense of peace. 
Some of you beautiful souls find it in nature, gardening, painting, writing, being with animals, etc etc. 
It does not matter what we do, it is how we do it. With our whole Self, connecting to our inner essence. When we do that we live in the vibration of Love. The true language of Love breeds trust. When we are living in this state of being we can release the expectations of what is outside of ourselves to feel whole. 

Have you recognized yourselves in these states of being? One of attachment to that outside of ourselves, and One of living in a state of Love or Trust? We can ebb and flow between these states many times even through-out the day. What can you do today that speaks to your heart and helps you re-connect to yourself?

Supporting anxiety and depression through yoga therapy: How one client practices

Blog published by YogaTherapy.Health

Dec 17, 2020 

By Amy Gaster

Jessica* is navigating life in her 20s, including the changes that can come in this sometimes-tumultuous decade. She is sweet and speaks softly; her calming, grounded demeanor diverges widely from the way she explains her inner experience. Jessica’s goals for seeking yoga therapy are to support her ever-changing experiences of anxiety and depression. She also hopes to feel more connected to her body and her inner self.

Every client is a distinct individual, but a few snapshots of how I worked with Jessica illustrate the path of adjunctive care through yoga therapy and some of the ways in which the practices support the experiences of anxiety and depression.

Foundations for insight

Jessica can clearly describe where in her body she feels anxiety—in the chest and belly, neck, and face (especially the eyebrows)—and the way she experiences depression—as a general heaviness in her body. She also reports feeling disconnected from her physical body overall. She shares that her biggest life challenges right now are recovering from traumatic experiences, unemployment, and navigating medical leave from school. Jessica attends silent retreats, which she finds challenging but also life-changing. I notice that she often closes her eyes, even while talking.

One of the tools of yoga therapy is educating the client. Every individual is unique: Some yearn to know the how and why of what yoga can do to help them; others just want to know that they can feel better.

Yoga therapists do their best to assess who is sitting in front of them and to meet those individuals where they are. We are trained to assess people through yogic methods including the panchamaya kosha model. The panchamaya system views the person as an interconnected whole, from all layers (koshas) of being. From such perspectives—and with client involvement—a yoga therapist chooses not only the practices that may best suit the client, but also the ways in which the practices are presented. Depending on the client, for example, I might occasionally share information like the below, or we may sit and have a longer conversation about how yoga can support mental well-being.

How yoga supports anxiety and depression

Anxiety and depression are not foreign invaders of our systems—they are necessary survival skills we all have. Anxiety is an (over)abundance of the behavioral skill of projecting and analyzing the future to save us from potentially harmful situations, or simply to plan ahead. Depression is an excess of the behavioral skill that allows us to reflect on the past, learn from our mistakes or from things that went well, and carry forward lessons. Much more could be said here, of course. (Some of the yoga research in these areas is linked under “Mental health” here.) The point is that yogic philosophy views these “conditions” not as something to get rid of, but rather as experiences that may require balancing.

Yoga supports nervous system regulation. (Learn one way this might work here.) The practices of conscious breathing, relaxation, and physical poses have different qualities that can be stimulating or calming as needed. When someone is feeling anxious, we might reach for yogic tools that ground and soothe the nervous system. When someone is feeling depressed, we might reach for yogic tools that are uplifting and stimulating.

Yoga therapists seek to support people where they are currently, then offer a yogic intervention to help them find balance. For example; if someone is feeling anxious and jittery, we may help them to move through that energy physically or with the breath, discharging any excess. When they feel a bit more settled, then we can offer grounding breathing practices, relaxation, and poses that require stillness.

If someone is feeling depressed and lethargic, we can invite them to begin slowly, perhaps on their backs with gentle breathing and movements—again, meeting them where they are. Then, once we have brought in more energy, we can offer more stimulating and uplifting practices.

Yoga therapy invites us to practice svadhyaya (self-study) to observe how states like anxiety and depression can shift and show up on any given day. From there, the practice can vary depending on what mood is most predominant.

Meeting energy where it is: Jessica’s practices     

One session, Jessica let me know she was feeling very lethargic and down and so had decided to have a cup of coffee. That led to her feeling stressed, overwhelmed, jittery, and anxious by the time she saw me. Other times, she has come in feeling physically lethargic and mentally anxious and fearful.

Slow, flowing movements with even breathing may be especially helpful when someone is feeling more anxious and needs a gentle way of dealing with that energy. When I notice Jessica’s movements and breath becoming more even and fluid, I invite her to start holding postures for three to five breaths. If Jessica is feeling more depressed on a given day, I might offer a restorative backbend to bring subtle uplifting energy. In either case, we use props like bolsters and blankets to prevent physical strain and shift the focus to calming the mind.

Over time, the system learns to be with a spectrum of experience in a calm way, and clients learn tools they can apply to support balance in themselves.

Silent meditation can feel overwhelming for those with racing thoughts or who tend to engage in negative self-talk. Many yoga therapists avoid silent meditation for those coping with anxiety and depression. Guided meditations that include mudra (hand gestures) or mantra (sound) may be useful to give the mind something to “chew on.”

In Jessica’s case, we began practices with guided visualization, mudras, or guided breath awareness. A practice such as breath of joy with the sound LAM is a staple in Jessica’s yoga therapy plan. This active breathing exercise is meant to uplift and energize.**

Bhramari (bee breath) with shanmukti mudra (using the fingertips to gently close the ears, eyes, nose and mouth) is a harmonizing breathing practice Jessica really enjoyed. I offered sama vritti, or even breathing, when she was feeling depressed to support balanced energy. When Jessica felt more anxious we practiced breathing with a longer exhalation.

Tratak meditation (focusing on a single point) on a candle flame was a practice I chose to invite Jessica to engage with her surroundings with open eyes. Jessica was surprised at how helpful this type of meditation was for her, as she was accustomed to practicing silent meditation with her eyes closed. She reported that tratak helped her to feel focused and centered. Because Jessica already practiced silent meditation, I often ended our sessions with a few moments of silence together to provide familiarity.

Moving forward 

Jessica explains that yoga therapy has helped her get to know herself more, connect with her body and mind, and identify practices and activities that support her in creating more even moods. She looks forward to continuing to attend silent meditation retreats with the new knowledge and tools of breathwork, mantra, and movements to prepare for stillness. She also reports that even if she does struggle with silent meditation, she now knows that there is nothing wrong—she may just be out of balance!

Amy Gaster, RYT-500, C-IAYT, practices yoga therapy in New Haven County, Ct., and from anywhere online via Zoom. Amy supports individuals and small groups in the experience of chronic pain, mental and emotional well-being, and back pain. Find her on Instagram and Facebook.

*Name has been changed to protect the client’s privacy.

**If you have uncontrolled high blood pressure or any kind of head or eye condition, such as migraines or glaucoma, it’s best to skip this practice. If you start to feel light-headed, stop for a minute, breathe normally, and find something in front of you to look at. As with many breathing practices and other yogic tools, working with the guidance of a well-trained teacher is recommended.

This post originally appeared on yogatherapy.health, published by the International Association of Yoga Therapists. Used with permission.

The Yogic Kosha Model and Mental Health

The Pancha Maya Kosha Model

This is the framework we follow in Yoga Therapy to support individuals in their physical, mental or spiritual well-being. We are multi-dimensional beings made up of many different, yet interactive levels.

My intention is to introduce this model so that one may get an idea of what to expect in Yoga Therapy AND to educate others in the many ways we can approach our well-being. Perhaps you have tried talk-therapy and it was not enough for you (disclaimer: I believe in and personally benefit from talk therapy). The Kosha model reminds us that we are more than our mental and physical bodies. It teaches that there are other layers to who we are, and therefore other ways to “enter” our healing path.

The Pancha Maya Kosha Model: Pancha means five - 5 layers. Maya is illusion or that which separates. Kosha can be translated as sheath or layers.

1) Anna Maya Kosha- The Physical body. Anna means food. This is our “food sheath”. The part of us nourished by what we eat and consume physically. Our physical body is our most familiar aspect of our being. This is the body we can touch and feel. The body we feed, move, sleep, rest, exercise, and do Yoga asanas (postures). Many people report feeling better after exercise. Even a short walk can provide a mood boost and soothe anxiety. Physical Yoga classes often leave people feeling more grounded and uplifted. “In a large US sample, physical exercise was significantly and meaningfully associated with self-reported mental health burden” This is one way “in”

2) Prana Maya Kosha- The Energy body. Prana translates as energy or life-force. It is the energy that flows through and creates life in all of our systems. Breath is the most physical manifestation of Prana. Breath contains Prana and is the most accessible way for an individual to influence their Prana. Prana can get stuck and stagnant and create lethargy or depression. It can also get scattered or uncontained and create feelings of anxiety. Breath awareness and breathing practices, called pranayama, increase and facilitate the flow of prana in the body and balance the flow of the life force to all the physical systems. I always like to say, if one can breath one can do Yoga. Creating even breaths in and out supports depressive feelings. Lengthening the exhalation calms the nervous system and supports anxiety. Here is an article about breath and mental health by BetterHelp (an online resource for finding a therapist). This is another way “in”

3) Mana Maya Kosha- The Mental-Emotional body. Manas means mind, and the Manamayakosha is the layer of our being expressed as mind, emotions, and feelings. These are our thoughts and emotions. The way we interpret our thoughts and emotions and those of others. This layer is responsible for processing input through our 5 senses of the physical body. It often takes on a bigger role then it may have been intended by creation. Many benefit from processing emotions and mental patterning through Talk Therapy. Some resources: https://www.betterhelp.com & https://www.psychologytoday.com/us This is a way “in”.

4) Vijnana Maya Kosha- The Wisdom body. Vijnana means knowing, and this sheath represents the higher mind, intuitive wisdom, a sense of knowingness. Believe it or not- we ALL have this layer. Here we approach the subtle body. This is the wisdom that lies behind the processing, thinking, and reactive mind above. Think of our mental/emotional body like a shout, and the wisdom body like a whisper. When we are in touch here we are able to trust our higher wisdom, see the bigger picture of our lives and the world around us, & access higher levels of integrating our lives & living in our truth. Practicing meditation, Yoga Nidra, and Journaling are some ways to nourish this layer. I love the free app “Insight Timer” for guided meditations and relaxations. This is a way “in”

5) Ananda Maya Kosha- The Bliss body. This is the fifth and final sheath of our being. Ananda means bliss, - an expanded, unbounded experience of reality. Bliss in the yogic sense, is not the way we typically describe it in our modern language. The experience of bliss is steady without high-highs or low- lows. It is an everlasting contentment - the experience of the soul itself. Again, we ALL have this layer. It is the core of our being beneath the other 4. So it makes sense that it can be hard to sense or access. You may have experienced this feeling of deep contentment before - even if it was fleeting. One can access this “layer” through any of the 4 above.

Here is where I would like to explain what I mean when I say “in” . I am speaking of the Bliss body. The deepest part of ourselves that comes with us when we leave our physical bodies. When we are in touch with this part of ourselves; knowingly or unknowingly, we feel the ultimate connection to source. I believe, this is what we are seeking all along.

These sheathes are not separate or linear. They integrate with each other. For example, it is not unusual to feel connected to your higher wisdom body during exercise, or perhaps talk therapy. The purpose of the intellectual understanding of our different layers is to understand that there are many ways to find support for our unique needs.

My hope is that this has helped you acknowledge the multi-dimensional human you are & learn ways to advocate and take care of you.

I am here to be a guide on that journey.

~ Amy

Global Grief & the benefit of Self-Study

What I know about the grieving experience is that you often don’t realize the extent of its effect on your life until it's pointed out to you or you take the time to observe. At the time I am writing this it is April 2020, and we are in the midst of a global pandemic. It is also a time whether we are aware of it or not, that we are facing Global Grief. Grief happens as a result of the loss of anything or anyone we are attached to. In my experience with grief and any other human emotion or experience, is that acknowledgement softens the blow. When I can acknowledge that I am in pain, and not resist it, then my suffering lessons, a bit. This is not my own self-discovery. The roots of my perspective begin with the yogic principle of “Swadhaya” or self-study/self-observance. It is the practice of observing the self: emotions/mind/feelings/physical body. The key is to observe the self without judgement.  An example: I am observing the pain in my upper back. I am observing I feel angry. I am observing I feel angry and recognizing beneath the anger is a lack of control. The latter being a bit more nuanced in our “observing”. Through this observation, the yogis say, we get to know the “Seer”, the one who observes, the higher Self. How does this support us now?

I believe many of us are tumbling around these past few weeks (or months) unaware of our grief. We might be expecting to react “business as usual”, maintaining routines or setting new ones, beginning new projects or endeavours, perhaps expecting to do something transformative! I know I did. If this is you and it is going well - great! I am not here to discourage you. If you found that at some point during this experience you were completely exhausted, burnt out, sad, unmotivated, agitated, distracted, numb sleeping a lot or too little, the list goes on - I am hoping this post softens the blow for you, and you acknowledge that you may be in some way affected by this Global grief, if not directly, indirectly. 

Are you not as productive as you hoped? Maybe you’re forgetting conversations that happened or misplacing things in your home. Perhaps you feel an intense need for withdrawal, or the contrary - to be surrounded by people. 

Just the other day I went to look for an important document in my file cabinet that in my “right” mind would have been correctly filed and placed where I could find it easily. The thing is, I put it away sometime this last summer, when I was deep in the throes of grief over my brother. So needless to say, it’s nowhere to be found. I look back at those times and I was giving myself time to grieve but another part of me had my foot in the world, trying to stay in the loop. I made many silly mistakes, I didn’t feel like myself. Sometimes I still don’t. My whole being was consumed in grief. Of course I was forgetful, confused, unproductive.

Some days I would numb out, preferring to be distracted from the pain, watch netflix, neglect my Yoga practice. I had to do that for a period of time, to cope, to get through. If this is you and you desire change but just cannot begin - my advice would be to try to stop shaming yourself first. Do your best to release the shame of what you are doing, or how you are acting in order to cope and instead treat yourself like you would a dear friend, a beloved, a child, a pet. In order to do this you first must acknowledge and observe your actions/reactions. Do your best to simply observe where you are at. You can ask yourself:

Are you sad/anger/confused/scared/lonely today or in this moment?

What makes you feel better?

What makes you feel worse?

What brings you some peace?

What were you doing when you felt totally present?

If we do not stop to observe and ask, we miss the opportunity to really know ourselves in these hard times. I invite you to get to know yourself in “sickness and health”, in happiness and sadness, in grief and in love. This is the practice of Swadhaya - self-study. It is a spiritual process, the biggest gift to not only ourselves, but the world at large. When we get to know ourselves we pave the way for others to do the same.

When we know ourselves, we know what our triggers are, we know when we need some space, we know when we need to reach out for support. There comes a time when we might feel that nudge to shift, to begin to invite healing. When that time comes and we have gotten to know ourselves, we may be guided to the paths of healing that suit us best; Yoga, Private Yoga Therapy, Holistic medicine, Medication, Therapy, reaching out to friends/family, exercise, nature, getting a pet, etc.

As we grieve together in this crisis, how much do you wish you could go walk into your Yoga studio and smell the scent of oils or incense and be in that moment like nothing else mattered. How badly do you want to sit with your loved one that you're not quarantined with and hug them and listen to them and watch them speak, in the flesh. How about these moments now: your time alone, or your time in nature, or with your work, or with your children. How present are you now? Are you truly seeing it for what it is. Have you given yourself space so that you are able to? 

So the invite is simple - not easy, to be aware, to observe. To practice seeing - really seeing; yourself and the world around you. Closing your eyes and observing your inner self. Try practice observing first with no decisions or conclusions, or solutions. Just open eyes and open heart. When years go by and you look back on these tough times, it could be a blur and that would be OK - or it could be a time where you gathered useful information about you, your inner workings, a time you really observed and were awake and alive. Yes - alive- after all, suffering is what binds us earthlings.

{{ Sending prayers to those who are sick, who lost a loved one, who are worried, who are in situations that don’t allow for the opportunity for self-observation, who are busy working keeping our planet going, and more - I see you <3}}

Best wishes,

Amy

Grief Pondering's

Yoga Sutra Contemplation: Through sincere and consistent effort the practice of Yoga provides: 

“Identification of oneself as living within the infinite stream of life” Sutra 11.47

This is my deepest hearts desire at this time
~

Summers bright and warming sun is turning into cool fall evenings, a transition we go through every year. This year, in my current experience, this transition is a bit more heavy and complicated. 

June 8 2019 I married an amazing man, we went on our honeymoon & just 10 short days later, I lost my little brother suddenly on June 18th 2019. My wedding and the beautiful memories I have of him and our family will always be the last moments I had with Justin.

It was almost 4 months ago. So this fall has been very transitional for many reasons. I struggle with the change because I realize he was here for summer, but he is not coming with us in the fall.

The first 2 months of my mourning I spent sleeping and weeping and isolating. My grief manifested as extreme exhaustion. Most of the time I did not want to hear about healing and for a bit there I thought it best if I never do. I help others heal and inner growth is not only a career, is it the way I live my life. So this was out of character. I knew enough to hold space for myself as grief settled into my bones.

I felt that this dark gaping hole was my new home and I liked it that way. All the while, another part of me knew that I will climb out of this with more awareness and growth then ever. I am still shedding and growing, always. One thing is certain, the path is not linear. There are just as many set backs are their are growth spurts.
My brother is apart of me, and my heart is utterly shattered. I am learning how to continue to have a relationship with him & the divine, wherever he is now. 

What I am experiencing now that I am crawling out of the debilitating period of my grief - is a new found lense for life. One I thought I already had. However, it turns out I haven’t scratched the surface. This lense allows me to see the bigger picture and soak up the little moments where I used to be inpatient, waiting for what comes next. It invites me to open my eyes, look around, and soak up this earth -a very very temporary home. 
The questions: Why are we here? Why am I here? What is this for? What is my hearts deepest longing? Are all apart of my daily contemplations. 
 I don’t know if I will get the exact answer for these questions but the ask is enough for now.

I have found I am more present and that I choose to make space for only what is meaningful for me. I am finding it is more natural to be vulnerable and speak from the heart. I place a higher priority on soaking up the beautiful pieces and people of my life that God has still left for myself and my family, because if I don’t fully embrace them, why else have I been chosen to remain with the living? What could be more important during our time of living, if Love is simply the only thing that matters in the end?  I choose more then ever to not allow a joyful moment to just pass by as if it isn’t the most important thing there is in this world. Love really is all that matters, it is the glue between this world and where we go after. What if that is our only purpose? To love and be loved. To learn to love oneself and offer our authentic gifts to our little corners of this planet. It can be as simple as baking someone something, adding light into the life of a stranger, helping out a friend, etc. Our authentic gifts do not always present as big passion projects. 

All for now..

Soak it up<3

Amy