Fortify your inner world to cope with your Outer. A post on the importance of honoring the little "griefs" of our lives.

You may have noticed...

Grief work is my passion. I do not experience Grief as always sad or always dark. It is my passion because when we engage in the task of grief, it is life-giving. 

When we can endure the emotions, memories, and sensations that arrive in grief, we can become more engaged in life.

It is my passion because I have seen first hand and have experienced it myself, that when we can go to the darkness of our grief, we become refreshed and renewed and primed for what is truly meant for us.

From there we can then experience Joy and Presence in a way that may not have been available before.

I am not just talking about the tremendous pain of loosing someone we love. I am also talking about the many ways we might miss the opportunity to grieve in daily life:
The completion of a T.V show, a new job (even if it is welcomed!), a friend moving away, etc.

I can give a personal example.

Right now, I am in my third trimester and preparing to welcome a new baby into our lives. This is of course a very exciting and special time that I am so blessed to be able to experience...

When a sense of melancholy arrives, I am able to explore and feel this sadness without the guilt or the need to bypass and only be in the Joy of this experience. 

I have been able to recognize the grief that comes with growing, birthing, and raising another beautiful being. 

I know how that sounds...

So hear me out...

I have become aware of the anticipatory grief that comes with no longer having most of time and attention focused on my first baby.
I have become aware of the grief that comes with my body changing again, with loosing mobility and yoga practices I love, the grief that comes with new medical needs and integrating them into my daily life.
I have become aware of the grief that comes with how ripped open my heart will become again with the Love of another being.

In my experience, this incredibly beautiful and terrifying kind of attachment is life changing and personality altering. 

So much of me will shed again to welcome this new life. There is so much grief and beauty in that. I am sure there is something in your life that contains this duality.

Here is the thing, whether or not I chose to acknowledge the mini griefs that I am carrying, they will be there.
So by allowing myself to feel, cry, talk, journal about them - they begin to move through me and their grasp loosens.
I feel lighter and more free. I feel ready to engage in this season of my life even more by bringing to light what needed to be seen and felt. 

To engage in the task of grieving we need to feel safe. I hope you can give yourself grace and compassion if feeling your grief is a task you are not yet up for. It can be scary and sometimes we need help. A practice that gives stability and security to our inner world is key.

It is my life's work to guide this process in others. It is my biggest privilege to witness others naturally come to a place where they access their feelings for the capital G grief in their life and all the little griefs. It is such a blessing to then witness them make space for what is true and real for them.

Francis Weller says it well:

"For us to tolerate the rigors of engaging the images, emotions, memories, and dreams that arise in times of grief, we need to fortif your inner ground. This is done through developing a practice that we sustain over time. Any form will do - writing, drawing, meditation, prayer, yoga, dance, or something else."

Grief is act of devotion, rooted in love and compassion.

I am sending you big love and compassion as you navigate your big and small griefs - 

Amy

Supporting Anxiety & Depression - the 3 Gunas - Aspects of Nature

Supporting Anxiety & Depression Through Yoga Therapy

As we enter another lock-down due to COVID-19, the angst in the air is palpable. I have heard from many this week that this time around, they are just not sure how they will cope. With the holidays coming up, it is a new experience this pandemic can add to its long resume. I wanted to offer a case study on how Yoga Therapy can help support our mental health. This is my way of contributing to my community, and the world. I feel called to share.

Jessica* is navigating life in her 20s and all the changes that can come in this youthful, yet sometimes tumultuous decade. She is sweet and speaks softly and presents with a calming, grounding demeanor, although that is far from how she explains her inner experience. Jessica’s goals for seeking Yoga Therapy are to support her anxiety and depression, as it changes each day. She also hopes to feel more connected to her body and feel a sense of belonging to herself.

Jessica can clearly describe where in her body she feels anxiety; chest and belly, neck, face, and eyebrows. and the way depression presents; feels like general heaviness in her body. She also reports feeling a disconnection to her body over-all. Her biggest life challenges right now are recovering from traumatic experiences, unemployment, and navigating medical leave from school. Jessica attends silent retreats of the Vipassanā tradition. She finds the retreats very challenging, but also life changing. I notice Jessica often closes her eyes, even while talking.

 One of the tools of Yoga Therapy is educating the client in yogic philosophy. The intention is to empower one with ancient knowledge and to offer new language outside of the labels of anxiety or depression.

The emphasis is always to first meet ourselves where we are at and then invite in the other quality to balance. 

The Gunas

The Gunas are natures 3 fundamental forces. All the qualities of the world contain the Gunas: Rajas, Tamas, and Sattva. Rajas is the quality of energy, wakefulness, and movement. Tamas is the quality of inertia, stillness, and sleep. Sattva is harmony, balance, transcendence. Sattva arrives when the balance of rajas and tamas is met in each unique being. It is the goal of Yoga. Just like the ever-changing state of energy, Sattva too is always shifting. What brings us balance at one point, may not always. That is why present moment awareness is so important on our journey of wellbeing.

When one experiences both anxiety and depression, an understanding of the Gunas can help them to understand themselves. It gives them a way to check in with the aspects of nature present in their own being each day. From there, their Yoga practice and daily choices can reflect the state of energy they are currently in and what may help bring them to balance.

Excess rajas leads to overwhelm, stress, insomnia, anxiety. Excess tamas leads to lethargy, resistance to change, excessive sleeping, and depression. I explain to Jessica how one may experience excess rajas in the mind and tamas in the body and vice versa. When we feel excess rajas, we want to bring in tamas to balance. When we feel excess tamas, we want to bring in rajas to balance. The emphasis is always to first meet ourselves where we are at and then invite in the other quality to balance. 

Jessica’s Practice       

One session, Jessica let me know she was feeling very tamasic so she decided to have a cup of coffee. That led to her feeling stressed, overwhelmed, jittery, and rajastic by the time she came in to see me. At other times she has come in feeling lethargic (tamas) in the body, and anxious and fearful (rajas), in the mind. Yoga Therapy invites us to practice Swadhaya (self-study) to observe how anxiety and depression can shift and present in an individual on any given day. From there the practice can vary depending on what mood is most predominant.

Slow, yet dynamic flowing movements with even breathing are best when someone is feeling more anxious and the energy needs to integrate. When I notice Jessica’s movements and breath becoming more even and fluid, I invite in static holds for 3-5 breaths. At the end of the physical practice forward folds invite in the energy of tamas to ground. If Jessica was feeling more tamasic that day, I would offer her a restorative back-bend to bring in Rajas to balance. The utilization of props in either case helps to prevent strain on the body and shift the focus on calming the mind. During longer held forward folds the mantra “I am here” supports anxious or depressed minds. I guided Jessica to inhale to the crown of the head, saying silently “I am”, and to exhale to the seat: “here”.

 Silent meditation is usually not recommended for those coping with anxiety and depression. Guided meditations that may include mudras or mantras may be more useful in order to “throw the mind a bone”.  Otherwise, silent meditation can feel overwhelming for one whose thoughts are racing or who tend towards negative self-talk.  We began practices with guided visualization, mudras, or guided breath awareness. A practice such as Breath of JOY with the sound LAM is a staple in Jessica’s Yoga Therapy plan. Breath of Joy is an active breath-centered breathing exercise meant to uplift and energize.

Jessica explains that Yoga Therapy has helped her get to know herself more, connect with her body and mind, and to empower her to find practices and activities that help support her in creating more balance in her mood.

Bhramari (bee breath) with Shanmukti mudra is sattvic breathing practice Jessica really enjoyed. When she was feeling more tamasic (depressed), 1:1 even ratio breathing helped uplift. Even breathing supports balanced energy. When she was feeling more rajastic (anxious), 1:2 ratio breathing was supportive. The longer exhale is more calming. Tradak meditation on a candle flame was a practice I chose for Jessica to invite her to engage with her surroundings with eyes open. Jessica was surprised at how helpful Tradak mediation was for her, since she typically practices silent meditation with eyes closed. She reported it helped her feel focused and centered. Since Jessica’s primarily practice is silent meditation, I often ended with just a few moments of silence together.  This provided her with something familiar.

Moving forward:

Jessica explains that Yoga Therapy has helped her get to know herself more, connect with her body and mind, and to empower her to find practices and activities that help support her in creating more balance in her mood. She looks forward to continuing to attend silent meditation retreats with the new knowledge and tools of breath work, mantra, and movements to prepare to sit silently. She also reports that even if she does struggle with her silent meditations, she now feels that there is not something wrong with her, she just may be out of balance!  

Amy Gaster C-IAYT, RYT 500, practices Yoga Therapy with individuals and small groups through-out New Haven County, CT and from anywhere online via Zoom. Amy works with individuals to support them in their experience of chronic pain, mental and emotional well-being, and back pain, utilizing a client-led approach incorporating accessible tools of Yoga. Find her in Instagram, facebook, and her website: yogawithamylauren.com

*Name has been changed to protect the client’s privacy.

The Yogic Kosha Model and Mental Health

The Pancha Maya Kosha Model

This is the framework we follow in Yoga Therapy to support individuals in their physical, mental or spiritual well-being. We are multi-dimensional beings made up of many different, yet interactive levels.

My intention is to introduce this model so that one may get an idea of what to expect in Yoga Therapy AND to educate others in the many ways we can approach our well-being. Perhaps you have tried talk-therapy and it was not enough for you (disclaimer: I believe in and personally benefit from talk therapy). The Kosha model reminds us that we are more than our mental and physical bodies. It teaches that there are other layers to who we are, and therefore other ways to “enter” our healing path.

The Pancha Maya Kosha Model: Pancha means five - 5 layers. Maya is illusion or that which separates. Kosha can be translated as sheath or layers.

1) Anna Maya Kosha- The Physical body. Anna means food. This is our “food sheath”. The part of us nourished by what we eat and consume physically. Our physical body is our most familiar aspect of our being. This is the body we can touch and feel. The body we feed, move, sleep, rest, exercise, and do Yoga asanas (postures). Many people report feeling better after exercise. Even a short walk can provide a mood boost and soothe anxiety. Physical Yoga classes often leave people feeling more grounded and uplifted. “In a large US sample, physical exercise was significantly and meaningfully associated with self-reported mental health burden” This is one way “in”

2) Prana Maya Kosha- The Energy body. Prana translates as energy or life-force. It is the energy that flows through and creates life in all of our systems. Breath is the most physical manifestation of Prana. Breath contains Prana and is the most accessible way for an individual to influence their Prana. Prana can get stuck and stagnant and create lethargy or depression. It can also get scattered or uncontained and create feelings of anxiety. Breath awareness and breathing practices, called pranayama, increase and facilitate the flow of prana in the body and balance the flow of the life force to all the physical systems. I always like to say, if one can breath one can do Yoga. Creating even breaths in and out supports depressive feelings. Lengthening the exhalation calms the nervous system and supports anxiety. Here is an article about breath and mental health by BetterHelp (an online resource for finding a therapist). This is another way “in”

3) Mana Maya Kosha- The Mental-Emotional body. Manas means mind, and the Manamayakosha is the layer of our being expressed as mind, emotions, and feelings. These are our thoughts and emotions. The way we interpret our thoughts and emotions and those of others. This layer is responsible for processing input through our 5 senses of the physical body. It often takes on a bigger role then it may have been intended by creation. Many benefit from processing emotions and mental patterning through Talk Therapy. Some resources: https://www.betterhelp.com & https://www.psychologytoday.com/us This is a way “in”.

4) Vijnana Maya Kosha- The Wisdom body. Vijnana means knowing, and this sheath represents the higher mind, intuitive wisdom, a sense of knowingness. Believe it or not- we ALL have this layer. Here we approach the subtle body. This is the wisdom that lies behind the processing, thinking, and reactive mind above. Think of our mental/emotional body like a shout, and the wisdom body like a whisper. When we are in touch here we are able to trust our higher wisdom, see the bigger picture of our lives and the world around us, & access higher levels of integrating our lives & living in our truth. Practicing meditation, Yoga Nidra, and Journaling are some ways to nourish this layer. I love the free app “Insight Timer” for guided meditations and relaxations. This is a way “in”

5) Ananda Maya Kosha- The Bliss body. This is the fifth and final sheath of our being. Ananda means bliss, - an expanded, unbounded experience of reality. Bliss in the yogic sense, is not the way we typically describe it in our modern language. The experience of bliss is steady without high-highs or low- lows. It is an everlasting contentment - the experience of the soul itself. Again, we ALL have this layer. It is the core of our being beneath the other 4. So it makes sense that it can be hard to sense or access. You may have experienced this feeling of deep contentment before - even if it was fleeting. One can access this “layer” through any of the 4 above.

Here is where I would like to explain what I mean when I say “in” . I am speaking of the Bliss body. The deepest part of ourselves that comes with us when we leave our physical bodies. When we are in touch with this part of ourselves; knowingly or unknowingly, we feel the ultimate connection to source. I believe, this is what we are seeking all along.

These sheathes are not separate or linear. They integrate with each other. For example, it is not unusual to feel connected to your higher wisdom body during exercise, or perhaps talk therapy. The purpose of the intellectual understanding of our different layers is to understand that there are many ways to find support for our unique needs.

My hope is that this has helped you acknowledge the multi-dimensional human you are & learn ways to advocate and take care of you.

I am here to be a guide on that journey.

~ Amy